I miss the way it used to be
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
I miss the way it used to be. A few years ago, I made my sister a huge photo album for her birthday. It contains pictures from when she was born up to when I gave it to her. For some odd reason, she had it in the kitchen, so when I saw it, I flipped through a few pages. I miss the way it used to be.
Lately, me and my sister have not been getting along. I cannot blame her; I wear my feelings on my sleeve and I am a bit too bold and honest. We argue a lot, we can never see eye-to-eye, I have a lot of resentment built up towards her for several different things (for those of you that don't know, her and I are literally polar opposites. Many people do not even know we're sisters). As I was flipping through the album, all I saw were pictures of us hugging each other's waists, laughing, sitting on each other's laps, smiling . . . always together doing things that happy sisters do. I miss the way it used to be.
Now, me and my sister never make time for each other. I honestly don't know her favorite color, her favorite things to do, her best friend, her pet peeves. We have grown so far apart that you would not find a single recent picture of us together, let alone her and I hugging, smiling, or even laughing with each other. We walk past each other in the house without acknowledging the other. She doesn't feel that I am trustworthy enough to come to me and share her feelings. I miss the way it used to be.
I've always wanted that perfect cookie-cutter family. The one where the whole family goes to church together, the sisters are actually best friends, always keep in touch, and grow old together. The one where no one becomes too busy for the rest, no one argues or fights. The one where each and every part is completely trusting and there at the drop of a hat to support one that needed it. The one where each person realizes that, if all else fails, so be it, they only needed each other anyway.
My family is not even close to that. Everyone runs around doing their own things. The last time we all sat down for dinner together was probably around 7 years ago. We all have problems, secrets, and issues that we would never trust with the others. It becomes a big problem when we have to go somewhere together. The simple fact is that we are all growing (or not) and becoming our own person, leaving every other behind. We have all become independent in our own ways, no longer needing, caring, or thinking about the others. I miss the way it used to be.
I promise myself and my future kids that we will never miss "the way it used to be."
Posted byAshley C. at 4:16 PM
This made me sad. It's easy for people to grow apart, away from each other. All relationships require work. Consciously deciding to stick together. I know you'll create your own tight knit family someday, but maybe...just maybe there is a way back with yours. But, everyone has to want it. And, that will take some time.