Second Grade, Thirteen Years Later

My first day of second grade was one of the most scary days of my life. It wasn't like I was starting a new school; this was my second year at the same school. My mom came with to drop me off (like every other student's mom) and she had her video recorder to make sure she captured every moment. I had some friends that I knew from first grade and from over the summer, but for some reason, I was deathly afraid of starting class again. I know, it sounds silly, but I absolutely did not want to go back. When the bell rang and all of the students started flooding the school and finding their classes, I was clenched to my mom's leg, crying, begging her not to leave. When we finally found my class, I went in, and my mom saw this girl that had the same shoes as I did. In order for my mom to help me "make a friend," she pointed it out. My mom captured the whole thing on video. I guess my mom hurried her way out . . . I didn't notice.

Thirteen years later and for some odd reason, I am feeling the same thing. The only difference now is that I am 21 years old, my mom doesn't drop me off to school, I am an (almost) independent woman, and most importantly, I am beginning my last semester of college. I am dreading going back to school; not because I don't want the workload, in fact, I love homework. I love going to class . . . it makes me feel sophisticated. I have that very familiar feeling: fear. I cannot point my finger on what exactly is triggering these feelings. Is it because Josh won't be there, keeping me company? Is it because I am testing myself by taking a heavy course load? Is it because this is my last official semester of college and off into the real world I go? I have no idea why I'm being a "scaredy cat," but hopefully all goes well this semester.

Posted byAshley C. at 4:23 PM  

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