Feeling your heartbeat
Monday, November 22, 2010

In memory of Andre, we did a lot of worshipping this weekend . . . that's everything Andre's life was about.  If Andre wasn't worshipping with another church, he was at his home church, walking the halls with his guitar, praising and worshipping his audience of One.  So many people shared that they saw Andre as one of the closest things to Jesus and I have to agree.  One of the songs that we sang on Saturday and Sunday was a song called "The more I seek You;"  this was one of Dre's favorite songs.  This song was one of those that immediately draw an image in your mind and bring you to the Savior in tears and reverance.

Posted byAshley C. at 11:13 AM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, prayer

Behind fears
Wednesday, September 29, 2010

As I mentioned previously, me pursuing photography has definitely had it's run of uncertainties and I have just flat out been nervous to give it my all and give myself to it.  What if I'm not as good as I think I am?  What if people think I am the worst photographer in the world?  What if I only get clients by asking them, hey, uh can I take some photos of you?  But, I heard another photgrapher say to "creat your own game;"  if I create my own game, using my own pieces, I will not have to measure up to someone else and will always come up on top.  This game is called mine.  I have no option but to win.  Plus, if I have God's blessing, I will do nothing but grow and be the best that I can . . . at the work of His hand.

Here is my game plan:
-Remember that I am doing this because I have a passion for it (despite of "bad shoots")
-Put myself "out there" and be daring . . .
-. . . but be willing to fail
-Remember my style and not change it for anyone.
-be myself and not be afraid of people not liking my technique.  Those that like it, like it and those that don't,  don't
-Listen to His voice and follow His lead.

So, here's what I have done.  First of all, I've created a page on Facebook for people to "like" and keep in touch and hear updates about how things are going with this passion I am pursuing.  Second, I have deleted my LeilaniNicole Photography blog; I want people to get to know the real me . . . not a censor for a blog about photography (after all, that's what my future website will be for).  Third, I am just going to dive in; I am not going to hide behind my fears.  I am going to chase after this as though I am certain God wants me here and I will give it my all.  People don't grow hiding behind fears. 

Posted byAshley C. at 5:03 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, photography, struggles

Stop looking.
Friday, September 24, 2010

My and my Lover's conversation last night went a little like this:

Posted byAshley C. at 9:39 AM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, Josh, photography

Finding peace
Thursday, September 23, 2010

Since my last post, I've been doing a lot of talking to God.  I've been asking Him to point me in the right direction and lead me where He wants me.  I'm tired of stressing about where I'm going to work (and be a sufficient provider to my future family), how I'm going to use my degree, etc.  I'm done.  I've prayed, asked God to provide, and I'm leaving it in His hands. 
Since I've been praying about this, I've been feeling more and more confident in my photography; visualizing myself in the future being successful; having peace knowing that I am exactly where He wants me.  The only problem is that I do not want to get my dreams mixed with His desires.  I want to be 100% sure that I am listening to His voice and not the little voices in my head saying this is right. 
Since praying about this, I've been given the most encouraging words, photography advice, and "plans" in ways people want to use me.  I've been thinking big.  Really big.  From out of nowhere, I've been feeling sooo inspired and have so much hope for my photography busines.  But, please God, if this is not for me, I pray that you would shut this door and guide me to the door that you've had waiting open for me. In fact, what if where I am now is exactly where He wants me? That would be pretty sweet!

In the mean time, I will continue trying to bring in clientele and get people aware of what LeilaniNicole Photography is.  I am pretty sure that God will make Himself crystal clear . . . I find sooo much peace in knowing that. 

Posted byAshley C. at 3:31 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, photography

I thank God
Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Remember that job that I was so eager to hear back from?  Well, I didn't get it.  And guess what, I thank God.  Remember the job before that, that I was eager to hear back from?  Well, you already know that I didn't get it (and turned the new offer down) and . . . yup, you guessed it, I thank God.  I thank God because he has placed other people in those positions . . . people that He wants in those positions.  I thank God because the girl (a girl I know) that got the first position I applied for loves it; looking back, I cannot see myself in that position.  A woman that has been unemployed (and is much older than I am) got the second position.  I am glad.  I have a job right now and she doesn't.  This all means that God has different plans for me; plans that I will love, enjoy, and be thankful for.
I was talking to my boss today and she told me that she has plans for me: stay at Omni, doing photography on the side, get married, and have a baby.  Ha!  Those plans sound great to me . . . that would be awesome if those are the plans that God has in mind, too.  At this point in my life, I love where God has placed me.  I love that God has placed a new passion in my heart (photography) and it would be amazing to be able to chase that passion wholeheartedly.  Plus, I can't really complain about my boss, either.

A side note, I just finished editing my best friend, Errika's maternity photos.  They are at leilaninicole.zenfolio.com/errikamaternity  Check them out!  And as always, if you know someone that needs photos done, share me with them! ;-]

Posted byAshley C. at 6:45 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, photography, work

I know that

Often times we forget exactly how big God is.  We (more specifically, I) worry about the smallest things and try figuring out ways to put our hands in the issue, stir it up, and see what outcome we will get.  We forget to pray and ask God for His help . . . and when we do pray and don't get the answer on our timing, we make an attempt at playing God again (only to find ourselves in the same hole!).
After reading another blog today, I was reminded that God is big.  He knows what we need before we even know what we need; He's working on our prayers before they even leave our lips.  One thing that I've been learning though, is that we need to show God our need and dependency for Him; sure, he knows, but it takes a whole lot more for us to put our faith into practice.

I am recently engaged.  My fiance works in the construction business and because this is the down time, he could be getting laid off any day now.  I work but not getting the best pay; I cannot find another job that I am even remotely interested in . . . or even know where God wants me.  We are planning a wedding and trying to pay off bills.  I want to live in something we can call our own.  I want to start a family as soon as possible.  The problem with all of this is that my faith is not big enough to bring me through these worries.  My God is, though.  I know that.

Posted byAshley C. at 9:08 AM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, struggles

I finally have it back . . .
Friday, September 17, 2010

and it's shinier and blingi-er than I remembered!  :-]  I now feel like yeah, that's right!  I'm engaged.  Uh-huh!  I like people knowing that I'm engaged to this good-looking fella.  Mine.  Forever.  ;-]

I don't know if I mentioned this already, but I started reading a book called Inviting God to Your Wedding (by Marsha Williamson) and I highly recommend it to any woman getting married.  The book talks about the difference God makes when you include Him in your wedding plans (hence, Inviting God . . . ).  From a Christian perspective, the author also talks about whether certain wedding "traditions" are in fact traditions, or faithless superstitions, moving on from the past (and past relationships), the importance of celibacy, etc.  I have been reading a chapter a night and feel good after reading it.  It's definitely thought-provoking and helps you look at your wedding day at a whole different perspective.  I like that she covers everything from A to Z . . . something that all of those wedding books, magazines, websites, checklists (blah!) do not cover.  Plus, she is nudging women (and men) to invite God to their wedding and advising how to establish and keep a relationship going with Him throughout the entire marriage.  I can't wait to finish this book and apply it to our wedding! 

Can't go wrong with inviting our Creator, the One who knows all, to your wedding. ;-] 

Posted byAshley C. at 3:20 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, wedding

Something . . .
Wednesday, September 8, 2010

 . . . has been tugging at my heart since the engagement.  No, wait, let me reword that: Someone has been tugging at my heart since the engagement.  For example, I typically listen to a lot of secular music; anything from country to rap to Christian music.  But, in the past week and a half, I have had the strongest desire to listen to Christian music.  Music that glorifies the God that brought Josh and I together.  I have no desire to listen to secular music, in fact, I am kind of grossed out by secular music.  I am going to be honest, my relationship with God has not been the greatest.  I wouldn't consider myself "running" after Him, it's more like a slight jog, then seeing something on the side of the road that distracts my jog . . . then remembering what I was supposed to be doing.  It's been cold, inconsistent, blah.  But . . . something in my heart is stirring.  Stirring to put on my armor, get as close as I possibly can, and follow my God.  Follow my God because He is ready to prepare me, my future marriage, and my commitment to my future husband more than ever.  I want to go into this marriage knowing that I have a strong relationship with God; a relationship that is inseperable; a relationship that will create a "oneness" with God where I cannot be easily distracted by things on the side of the road, but continue running after Him as though my entire life and marriage depend on it.
My future husband deserves nothing less than a godly woman that he can trust with his entire life.

Now, if I could only find which road He is on, waiting for me to begin running behind Him.   

Posted byAshley C. at 4:52 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, marriage

Perfect magnolia
Sunday, September 5, 2010

Posted byAshley C. at 1:45 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, shopping, summer

Here I come
Thursday, August 5, 2010

I've noticed things about my blog.  Not really good things, but not bad things either.  This area is supposed to be a reflection of my life: my feelings, things going on, my faith, struggles, etc.  It hasn't been.  I've made a habit of blabbering on about what's going on day-to-day, but not what's going on inside.  As far as I know, I don't have any new readers, but if I did, they probably wouldn't know the real Ashley.  They wouldn't know my deep struggles, the things that keep me awake at night, the things that I can't "shake off."  Matter of fact, you probably don't either.  I haven't been sharing the real me.  I wouldn't necessarily say that I am being fake, because I have been sharing real things with you all, but I haven't been sharing the important things.  I think that it because once I write them, they are absolutely true and not just a figment of my imagination or something that I am currently working on but instead a real life problem.

My number one struggle right now is my faith.  I am a firm believer in Christ and I would not doubt for a minute that I am truly saved.  I believe in my heart that God raised his Son from the grave and I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord . . . that's all it takes to be saved.  I think that I have taken advantage of the comfortable life of a Christian and have not been living my faith out loud or making sacrifices that I know would make my God proud to call His own.  I have not read my Bible in more than 6 months and have not prayed a real prayer in longer than that.  I've been such a negative person with a very pessimistic outlook on life and me and I am so sure that me and Josh's relationship is the number one reflection of how my relationship with God (and myself) is at any given moment.  God is love.  God teaches love.  Without God, you cannot truly love.  I have noticed how my lack of love with God has had an influence with everyone around me, including myself.  I have been in the crabbiest, most unpleasant mood that I cannot change no matter what I try.  I have tried filling this void with things that are "scientifically" supposed to work like tanning, shopping, sleeping, etc.  But to be honest, nothing can fill the void of the absence of God in one's life.  What do I think I'm doing?  I tend to think Ah, I'm not that far from God.  I can get back to Him if/when I want to.  But, that's Satan's lies.  He wants me to think I am in good standing with God.  He wants me to think that things aren't "that bad."  What he doesn't want is for me to grow in my relationship with God.  Everything that I'm feeling is what he's feeling because he knows that he's doing a darn good job at it.  He's kept his lies up long enough and kept me from my God long enough and I feel like it's time to bring this to an end.

I often think about His Word as a love letter to me.  He wrote that love letter for me to read and be inspired, praise Him, turn to Him, love Him.  That letter has been sitting there, on my nightstand, for months and months, left unopened.  If Josh were to write me a letter, you better believe that I would tear that thing open, full of eagerness to hear what he wants to tell me; hear how much he loves me; hear about our plans for the future.  I would never let a letter from Josh sit that for months and months on end.  How could I?  How could I think that what Josh has to say is more important than what my Creator has to say? 

I need to find true love and happiness and I know that I have been looking in the wrong spot . . . but I see something right there, poking around the corner, waiting for me to go pick it up.  Here I come. 

Posted byAshley C. at 9:00 AM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, Josh, love, struggles

I can't wait
Wednesday, July 28, 2010

You already know that Josh and I have been together for quite some time (well, nearly 5 years to be more clear), and I talk a lot about being engaged to him.  Okay, maybe not on here because I don't want to seem like a crazy, mad, obsessive woman, but ask the people I encounter on a regular basis.  ;-] 

Today, I told Josh, I really can't wait until we're engaged!  and he replied, "And then when we're engaged, you'll say 'I can't wait until we are married.'"  So I laughed and told him, Yeah, you're right.  Of course, since he knows me so well, he tells me, "Then, when we're married, you'll be saying, 'I can't wait to have babies!'" Haha, then I'll be saying that I can't wait until these babies are out of the house and we're on our own again.  Here's the scary part:  Josh finishes by telling me, "And then, when our babies are out of the house and we're old together, you'll tell me 'I can't wait until we're in heaven together.'" 

I guess, that last part is probably very true, but very scary at the same time.  I'm always looking forward to the next big thing, the next life-changing event to occur and I'm kind of overlooking what's in front of me now.  Josh and I are sooo happy together, and sure, being married will enable us to do a lot more, but what's wrong with living in the now, right now?  Times flies and I don't want to be one of those old people that look back on their lives and say "Where did it all go?"  I want to look back at my life and be completely satisfied with everything and know that God's timing in my life was nothing less than perfect.  You know what the cool thing about what Josh said is though?  That God will create a whole new earth, and that means that Josh and I will be able to live for eternity.  Together.  There will be no I can't wait for this.  I can't wait for that.  God will make us perfect beings and living solely by His will.  I told Josh that means that we can have lots and lots and lots of babies since there will be no pain in Heaven.  :-] 

Posted byAshley C. at 7:46 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, Josh, love

verses like these
Tuesday, July 27, 2010

 When I hear verses like these:

“You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book.”  Psalms 56:8

"For you created my inmost being;  you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139: 13-16

I cannot help but be reminded of how much our God loves us and is really involved in our lives.  I don't always feel like God is there or that He is listening to my requests or praises . . . but this . . .this is our reminder.  :-]   

Posted byAshley C. at 8:26 AM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God

Scary thoughts to entertain
Friday, June 18, 2010

Lately, it's seeming as though death has been all around me.  Well, I shouldn't say all around, but death has been "the trend", maybe I should say that instead.  I've shared this with you all before, about my struggle with thoughts of death, or losing Josh somehow.  It's something that I even struggle with talking about because I get pretty emotional, however I know that it is part of life, it happens, and it is something that needs to be confronted and dealt with.  I literally cannot think of anything worse than having to live even a day knowing that I will not be seeing Josh again (well, at least in this lifetime, anyway); the weird thing about it though is that even though it is something that I struggle with sooo much, it's not big enough (nor could it ever be) for me to say I hope I'm the first to go, not Josh because I would never want him to have to deal with my biggest fear, but on his end; get what I'm saying?  Josh and I always say that we will never have to live without each other because Jesus will come before then; although this thought is so comforting and eases pain of the bad thoughts, I know that it's not entirely healthy.  I pray that Jesus comes back during my lifetime; I pray that I will witness His return, but that may not be the case.  I know that I need to have a strong enough relationship with my Lord in order to help me endure through the times that I just may have to face.  I need to find rest in knowing that no matter what circumstance in placed in front of me, that my God will carry me through. 
The thought of death is a scary, scary thing to entertain, but there is something that needs to be recognized:  God is the creator, our reason for living.  I love Josh with all of my heart . . . every single ounce of it; that's a bad thing.  God needs to have more than that and I cannot say that He does.  I need to teach myself that God is my reason for living, not Josh.  God is the reason that I am here, not Josh.  Life is amazing, perfect, and I couldn't ask for more as long as Josh is in it, and I need to get my priorities in order.  Plus, the more I am loving God, the more He will teach me to love Josh; they go hand-in-hand!  Cool, huh?  :-]  The hard part is shifting my attention, care, love, and time from earthly matter to Someone that really matters in the end.  :-]

On another note, I noticed that I have a new follower!  Welcome, Amanda!  I hope that you enjoy reading my random thoughts.  :-]  Oh, and my photography blog officially up and running, you all need to go check it out and leave me some feedback!  :-]

Posted byAshley C. at 1:03 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, Josh, struggles

Homeboy?
Thursday, May 27, 2010

Lately, I've been reminded of a shirt that I just had to have.  You've probably seem them around and maybe you thought badly about them, maybe you didn't.  I know I didn't (at the time). I was a "new" Christian, so I thought I was rockin' Jesus' name boldly.  Jesus was not my "Homeboy."  He is my Savior, my Lord, my Redeemer, my everything.  Not some friend that I just label as a Homeboy.  Heck, Josh is definitely more to me than a homeboy (although it would be cool to have a shirt with a picture of Josh and saying "Josh is my Homeboy.").  I thought I was the coolest kid on the block with my fitted pink shirt.  I wore it to every Christian event that I could.  How embarrassing!  Thank God (literally) that my ex's Aunt knocked me across the head and was the only one bold enough to say something to me about it.  I was in fact rubbing God's face in the dirt and belittling His name.  What was I thinking?  I'll tell you what I was thinking.  I thought that shirt was proclaiming my conformation against the world and not being afraid to say Who I identified with.  I wasn't afraid to be pointed and laughed at by my old friends.  I was wearing a shirt that shared my beliefs . . . or so I thought.
I wish I could go up to every single person (including some Christian singers) that saw me wearing that shirt and shout to them all through a megaphone that Jesus is NOT my homeboy!!!  He is my life, my best friend, my confidant; the only reason I live!!!!  But . . . I can't.  The only thing I can do (besides throw that $30 shirt away) is to live what I truly believe.

Is Jesus your homeboy or is He much, much more?   

Posted byAshley C. at 8:11 AM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: Christianity, God

My God . . .
Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I love reuniting with friends and knowing that you're really making a difference in this season of their life.  Friendships definitely go through their seasons and this is by far one that I have been enjoying.  By either lending an ear or by sharing some time, it has all been greatly appreciated.

An another note, I was debating about whether or not I wanted to even mention this at this point, but I got a call back today for a 45-minute phone interview (tomorrow) with the company that I applied to!  The guy that called seems so happy and enthusiastic; I'm telling you, it's the job!  The people there rub off on you and you cannot help but be cheerful.  Well, I have given this whole thing up to God because I know that no matter what, everything is in His control, anyway; not the interviewer, not the other highly-qualified candidate, but in His control.  It has been really easy to just sit back and know that I have done what I can do now I just have to let everything pan out, but now things are really getting down to the wire.  I suppose that is when our faith is tested.  It's easy to say what you'll do and muster up scenarios for when the time comes, but when things actually begin happening, you're true character is tested when you are tested.  I just have to remind myself that God has brought me this far and He will bring me to the end . . . whether it is with this company or not.  :-]  When I begin to worry Oh, man I am unexperienced in Social Work and I will never get this job! I am telling God that my problem is bigger than He is and we know that is NOT the case! 

Posted byAshley C. at 4:36 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: faith, God, work

I know He will provide for me
Thursday, April 8, 2010

Things are happening a little too fast.  I like fast, but not this fast.  Since I will be a Social Worker in May (so crazy!), I need to find some Social Work job openings.  I have had my current job for 2 and a half years and I've never been happier.  I love everything about my job.  But, I am not in school to be a receptionist, so I need to get these gears grinding in my brain and put what I've learned to use in a different kind of setting.

I previously mentioned that my boss, Krissy talked to a woman named Lisa who works at a local business that provides jobs and residential assistance to mentally ill individuals.  Lisa is a client at the salon, so she knew who I was.  Ever since Krissy talked to Lisa, Lisa and I have been corresponding back and forth through e-mail, and when she comes in for her appointments, about the business she works for and about me working there.
I was checking their website multiple times a day for a Case Management position to open up, but nothing was posted.  Lisa recommended that I just come in and apply for Case Management although there wasn't a listing posted.  I told myself  that I would go in and apply Wednesday and Tuesday night a Case Management position was listed!  What a crazy coincidence, right?  Well, I finally mustered up the courage and confidence and went in to apply.  Lisa was such a sweetheart and set aside some time to give me a tour and introduce me to some people (including some head-honchos!).  Since I worked there temporarily as a 14-15 year old, I was familiar with some of the people and things she showed me.  She also re-introduced me to some of my old supervisors.  She tried to introduce me to the CEO and the person in charge of hiring, but both were in a meeting; that would have been a huge bonus, huh?!  Anyway, while walking around there, I totally remembered why it was that I loved working there.  The clients are amazing and the employees are so loving and real.  I really, really hope I get this job; it would be perfect for me at this time in my life!

The way things have been coming along so smoothly and things have fallen into place so perfectly, I would like to this it's God.  I have been praying and asking God to bless me if this is for me or allow for other doors to open if it's not.  I vowed not to worry about it and just to let God have His hands in it . . . I know He will provide for me if I trust in Him, so that's just what I am going to do. 

Posted byAshley C. at 8:17 AM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, trust, work

Settling down with a new Bible
Monday, February 8, 2010

How do you read your Bible?  I'm just curious because I want to try something new.  I think it's time to settle down with a new Bible.  On Sunday while I was sitting in church, I turned to Josh and asked him if we could go buy me a new Bible . . . today we did just that.  I already have several Bibles (The Message, an NIV study Bible, NLT Life Application), but I wanted something more "slim" and with only Bible text . . . no commentary on the bottom.  Lately I have been really thinking about how I have been slacking in my reading and need to start being more faithful to it.  So, I was thinking about buying some colored pencils and color-coding and linking related "touching" verses with the side margins.  I have no idea where to start though!  I was Googling tips on how to organize your Bible and color-code and all that.  I have an idea about what I want to do, so I will have to sit down and think long and hard about it and make sure it's right. :-]
I have just wanted to choose one Bible that is my favorite and start writing in that one.  I think it would be cool to have a Bible that is mine.  The Bible I found is a "slim," black leatherbound, NIV with silver page trims.  AND only $15 with my coupon!  I really like its simplicity.  I wanted to get my name engraved on it, but their machine was down.  Maybe next time we go to that store.  I really want it!
Also, while checking out, the employee showed me some $5 items they have on sale, one of which was Louie Giglio's Indescribible DVD.  Krissy introduced me to him and ever since then, I have loved his movies; they really get you thinking about God's awesomeness and how tiny, yet important we are to our Creator.  I thought this would be a great movie to have and share with people.  Haha, I get really excited about these kinds of things, so I think I automatically assume that everyone else will, too!  :-]

So, my question at the beginning wasn't rhetorical.  Really, how do you read your Bible?

Posted byAshley C. at 5:48 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: Christianity, God, good deals

Party of one
Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Here I sit with a bowl of popcorn, a 7-up, and a couple cookies.  By myself.  And I must admit it is very refreshing and relaxing.  I am just excited about being able to stay up late tonight (by myself) and catch up on all of my Internet "stuff."  Feels good. 
Can you all believe it is almost 2010?!  It really feels as though 2009 just began.  I remember when the New Year first began and I was looking forward to all that I thought was going to happen.  The only thing that happened that I was looking forward to was an early graduation.  No engagement, no new car, no new body, no finished scrapbooks.  It's can seem a bit depressing to look back and see everything that did not happen.  But come to think of it, there are plenty of things that happened that I did not intend on happening.  For example, I have made a couple close girlfriends this semester at school, I have learned what it means to begin loving my body for what it is, I have been introduced to the blogging world.  I am more grateful for those things that did happen than I am upset about the things that didn't happen.  I think this whole year has been about learning about me.  It has been a very exciting year and I do not think I would change anything about it.
What are my New Year's resolutions, goals, etc.?  Well, I'm not quite sure because last year I made all of these resolutions and did not meet any of them.  I kind of think that setting a "goal" for the heck of it (or because everyone else is doing the same thing) makes it that much easier to abandon.  But, I must admit, there is something about a whole new calendar year that makes you feel that you can conquer the world and achieve any goal you set before yourself.  If you think about it though, God gave us night and day and the chance for a renewal each day.  If you look at it that way, you have 365 chances of starting over.  If you look at each week as a chance to start over, well you have 52 chances.  If you look at months, you have 12 chances.  But, if you look at years, you only have one chance; I think that's one of the main reasons people fail at their resolutions so easily.  Once they slip-up, they (we) think "Too bad, now I have to start over next year."  And if you slipped up January 1st . . . that's not good!  One thing that I have to learn to remember is that God is there every day, every minute, every hour; He is there, waiting to forgive you and encourage you to move forward.  If you ask God to give you the energy and focus, you can do all things!  But, if you go on and try to achieve your goals without consulting Him or asking His Spirit to strengthen you, odds are you're going to fail.  The Spirit is our strength . . . and that's not just for no reason.  God knows we are vulnerable and easy to manipulate so that's why there is a Trinity and not only God and Jesus.  Ask Him!

So . . . if you all didn't notice, this is my 100th post!  That's really exciting!  I have not written as much as I'd wish I did, but hey, it's a start!  I came across a website that allows you to turn your blog into a book . . . as I was telling another person, I think it would be cool to print my blogs at the end of every year in order to preserve them and use them as a portal for my children to get to know me in ways they weren't able to after I'm old and gone.  :-]  So, that's just what I'm going to do.  I think it will even be fun for me to look back at my daily adventures, thoughts, and struggles. 
Well, off I go to finish my popcorn and cookies.  So, to close up, I'm wondering . . . What are your New Year's resolutions and what gives you strength in your attempts?

Posted byAshley C. at 10:13 PM 0 Love Notes  

Labels: God, holidays, lesson learned, random, relaxing

Selling my soul
Saturday, December 26, 2009

Today Josh and I were talking about rappers and the conversation kind of took a turn to people selling their souls to the Devil.  Now, I've heard of that term before, but I asked Josh Selling your soul to the Devil?  So, how would that happen? and he just told me that they worship and give praise to the Devil.  This was interesting because Josh told me that an example of this would be someone doing this to become more successful in their careers (and in this case, some particular rapper/s).  Josh reminded me that the Enemy has "free-range" of the world; in essence, he can do whatever he wants, and I guess that those that "sell their souls to the Devil," are pretty much going to be "successful;" BUT has really come to steal, kill, and destroy.  However, Christians are protected by God.  They cannot be touched.  For everyone else, the Enemy has control over their lives and can make any move he wants (including making them "successful").  It might seem sensible to some people, but this success, wealth, or whatever else might be given is only tempoary.  It was very reassuring to hear this because it reminds me that God has promised us eternal life.  He has promised to give us a life that, although it might not be full of riches or success now, will be blessed and will live with those things for eternity.
I don't know about you, but boy am I glad to have "sold my soul to God . . . " the One and Only God!

Posted byAshley C. at 5:51 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, Josh, random

Floodings and shootings and God's promise
Saturday, November 28, 2009

I hate those dreams and I do mean hate.  Do you ever have dreams with reoccuring themes that just make you uncomfortable?  My dreams always have one of two themes: being shot in the head or the world being flooded.  Okay, and when I was reading the Twilight books, I had dreams about Edward, but shhh . . .

Being shot in the head is the way I always die in my dreams.  I never fall, suffocate, or anything else.  I have no idea what this means and honestly, I'm not into dream-reading, so I couldn't care less.  The thing that bothers me most about this is that when you have so many detailed dreams about being shot, it kind of brings itself into real life.  When I walk outside at night (to get in my car, etc.), I always hurry because I'm afraid of getting shot.  Weird.

Now, last night I had another dream about the world flooding.  It was really strange.   Everyone was watching the news and making a huge deal about the world flooding.  They were saying good-bye to their families, building boats, and killing themselves.  There were no fears coming from me for one reason: I knew the Bible said that God promised to never flood the world again and that we have regular reminders of that promise . . . rainbows.  I was afraid because I could not remember the verse and more and more people were putting their trust in the weather man (and killing themselves) each second.  I needed to tell people what God promised us and they were making a fuss for no reason.  I was flipping through the Bible and getting frustrated and could not find the verse until God spoke to me.  He said "You are getting frustrated looking through my Word.  Keep looking and if you do not find it in 2 minutes, you can turn your back on me forever."  So, I flipped for about 5 seconds and right away, I found the verse, the clouds cleared up, and a rainbow showed in the sky.  It was so reassuring.  And strange.  Now, if I knew there wasn't a verse in the Bible that declared God's promise, I would probably worry about this regularly, too.

Posted byAshley C. at 10:04 AM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, struggles