feeling a little spontaneous
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I've been feeling a little spontaneous. Yesterday my dad texted me talking disrespectfully again. I knew he would once it came closer to Mother's Day and I didn't text or call my stepmom. I was so right; I know that mean man a bit too well. I knew I shouldn't have responded to that text and should have just ignored him and act like I never got it because if I did respond, it would only cause things to worsen . . . but I cannot keep my mouth closed some times. I like getting the last word and I like people knowing what I feel. My dad and I have not talked since Thanksgiving when he sent me a mean text and that particular conversation ended with him telling me that I don't deserve him coming to my graduation (which would be in two months from that point). I offered to pay for his place ticket, but I guess his time was the hard thing in getting. Whatever. Anyway, last night he told me that 1) "kids now days are so disrespectful," 2) he didn't come to my graduation because the "ticket you promised never came," 3) "you only call when you want something," 4) "are you still a church goer," 5) "you will never grow up," 6) "you are going to be lonely . . . this conversation is proof," 7) "everyone I've talked to said you're in the wrong." Alrighty then. I guess I learned that he knows that he's wrong, he's a lonely man, he stood up my graduation, and that he has never been there for me.
With all of that being said, I shared that conversation with my Aunt Andrea (my dad's brother's ex-girlfriend) online. She had custody of my sister and me for 3 months when we were younger (about 3 and 1 years old) and I haven't seen her since. She recently found me on Facebook and we've chatted on several different occasions, but I haven't seen her since her guardianship. She has two kids herself, Jennifer and Andrew; we were all really close when we were younger. Andrew is getting married this July so I planned on going to Michigan for the wedding but after me and my dad's conversation last night, I feel like me sharing that with Andrea brought our lost relationship to a whole new level. Sooo, I proposed me coming and visiting with her a whole lot sooner . . . like, this month sooner. She couldn't be more excited to reunite with "her niece that [she] never wanted to give back." I am thinking of going up there at the end of this month and coming back the first couple days of June. It will be cool because I'll be there for the bridal shower and my cousin Jenni will also be in town from Florida so I will be meeting this part of the family for the first time in 18 years! Weird. But, I feel like this is something that I need. I need a part of that family that I can hold on to and introduce to my future family. I want that family there that I know loves and cares. The only thing that I need to do is by my ticket and I'm there. On my own. Meeting family again. I'm feeling like this is yet another big step for me. :-]
Posted byAshley C. at 5:37 PM
Labels: dad, family, random, travel
