To this day, I have dreams about Indonesia and their people at least 5 times a week.  Those are the dreams where I wish I never have to wake up.  Do you ever have those dreams where, when you accidentally wake up, you try oh so hard to fall back asleep and grab the dream back, but can't?  These are those dreams.  I wish I could just soak up the people, the memories, the experiences.  All of it.  The first week I was there, I cried, was homesick, jetlagged, culture shocked.  I feel like I should have breathed in every day I was there, not taking a minute for granted.  Three and a half weeks came and went too fast.  I sometimes wonder, "What if God has chosen the missions field as my line of duty?"  Am I ready to sacrifice that "American dream?"  Am I ready to give up what I hoped and dreamed for, for my future family?  I can honestly say that my heart is not in the right place and that I am not standing in front of God with open hands.  I hope and pray that God will reveal His will and show me what's in store for my future.  I want to be obedient. 

Until then, I suppose I will lay my head down at night thanking God for the experiences that He's blessed me with and pray that many more will come.