I just want a family!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
You've heard me talk about my desire to become a mom. Soon. But, only one problem: I am not married, nor am I really ready for that kind of sacrifice. I have thought about things I want to do (babywearing, breast feeding, ECing, homeschooling, etc.), ways that I want to raise my kids, and the way I want to instill certain values and morals in their lives. I also must admit that I am slightly envious of those around me that are pregnant or having their babies. We've been hanging out with our friend, Errika A LOT and just hearing her talk about her pregnancy pains, discomforts, and planning for "Baby A" is getting me so happy and excited for her, but wishing I was in her position. I just want to be able to get my life started and start working towards something that I feel I was meant for. Josh and I are so ready to be married, but we're just waiting on some things like employment, paying off debt, and other things (as I've mentioned before). We've also drawn some lines and told each other when it will most likely be appropriate to start a family. Hopefully, things move along quicker because I just want a family! :-]
Now, with all of that being said, I have some major fears that literally cause nightmares at least once a week. I have dreams about stretch marks, saggy boobs, and massive weight gain. I know, those things are kind of inevitable, but I'm not ready for that. I'm dealing with some insecurities now; yes, I know, I will never be perfect and insecurities are never-ending. My point is that if I'm not completely secure now, how can I learn to love myself after taking on those things that I fear the most?
Posted byAshley C. at 8:22 AM
You just do it. The joys far outweigh the aforementioned things. Not our timing but God's. I think we will keep learning every day we live. I am thankful for that as even though I may be one of His "Peculiar People" I will never truly be old because my youth is renewed constantly.
PS 103