. . . the most dark, deep secrets . . .
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Yesterday, my class ended with a grand finale; we had to give a presentation on our family history (3 generation's worth). As I've mentioned in previous blogs, I do not talk to my dad's side of the family (with an exception here and there), so I know nothing about them. My (ex)-Aunt, Andrea gave me all of the information that I needed. As for my mom's side, they are all either deceased, homeless, or drug addicts . . . so, I know nothing about them either. Great, huh?
As I was watching people give their presentations, my heart started to feel heavy. Because I am in Social Work, everyone in my class is a woman (and 2 guys) and there were some very common themes: no knowledge of one part of the family, childhoods absent of fathers, single moms raising their children, kids raising kids because of irresponsible parents and the list goes on. One girl began crying because her family shunned her at age 16 (she's now 31) because she refused to be a part of any religion; she still has no contact with them. The more presentations that I sat through, it felt like the ground was sinking in. Everyone's history and experiences were so different. People shared things that they didn't have to (and frankly, I wished they hadn't because I am waaay too empathic and feel for everyone). My heart was so heavy and I felt like there was this "monster" on my back. That's when I began to realize that families are probably the most dark, deep secrets that anyone could have. Why? It's really strange to think about. Is it because people (including myself) want others to think they live in a normal household? Is it because the family name needs to be placed on the highest pedastal, no matter what goes on? Is it because people feel hopeless? Who knows. I will be the first to admit that my family is nowhere near perfect and things have happened that I would only share with those closest to me. A family seems to be like a box; no outsiders allowed in "our lines."
I am always talking about how perfect of a family I am going to have. Having the best intention in raising them under a godly roof. Having family dinners, meetings, outings. I want my kids to find rest in their family and know they we are all there for each other. But reality is that that is not always the case. There are always exceptions to the (desired) rules and families are not always prepared to face those. I pray to God that my family will be strong enough to endure anything that comes our way. I pray to God that my kids will have a much more positive family environment than I did; matter of fact, the family environment that includes and is centered around God. After listening to 14 family histories, I have come to learn that the only thing I do have control over is my prayer for my family.
Posted byAshley C. at 5:33 PM
Labels: family
