feeling a little spontaneous
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
I've been feeling a little spontaneous. Yesterday my dad texted me talking disrespectfully again. I knew he would once it came closer to Mother's Day and I didn't text or call my stepmom. I was so right; I know that mean man a bit too well. I knew I shouldn't have responded to that text and should have just ignored him and act like I never got it because if I did respond, it would only cause things to worsen . . . but I cannot keep my mouth closed some times. I like getting the last word and I like people knowing what I feel. My dad and I have not talked since Thanksgiving when he sent me a mean text and that particular conversation ended with him telling me that I don't deserve him coming to my graduation (which would be in two months from that point). I offered to pay for his place ticket, but I guess his time was the hard thing in getting. Whatever. Anyway, last night he told me that 1) "kids now days are so disrespectful," 2) he didn't come to my graduation because the "ticket you promised never came," 3) "you only call when you want something," 4) "are you still a church goer," 5) "you will never grow up," 6) "you are going to be lonely . . . this conversation is proof," 7) "everyone I've talked to said you're in the wrong." Alrighty then. I guess I learned that he knows that he's wrong, he's a lonely man, he stood up my graduation, and that he has never been there for me.
With all of that being said, I shared that conversation with my Aunt Andrea (my dad's brother's ex-girlfriend) online. She had custody of my sister and me for 3 months when we were younger (about 3 and 1 years old) and I haven't seen her since. She recently found me on Facebook and we've chatted on several different occasions, but I haven't seen her since her guardianship. She has two kids herself, Jennifer and Andrew; we were all really close when we were younger. Andrew is getting married this July so I planned on going to Michigan for the wedding but after me and my dad's conversation last night, I feel like me sharing that with Andrea brought our lost relationship to a whole new level. Sooo, I proposed me coming and visiting with her a whole lot sooner . . . like, this month sooner. She couldn't be more excited to reunite with "her niece that [she] never wanted to give back." I am thinking of going up there at the end of this month and coming back the first couple days of June. It will be cool because I'll be there for the bridal shower and my cousin Jenni will also be in town from Florida so I will be meeting this part of the family for the first time in 18 years! Weird. But, I feel like this is something that I need. I need a part of that family that I can hold on to and introduce to my future family. I want that family there that I know loves and cares. The only thing that I need to do is by my ticket and I'm there. On my own. Meeting family again. I'm feeling like this is yet another big step for me. :-]
Posted byAshley C. at 5:37 PM 0 Love Notes
Labels: dad, family, random, travel
Life is good!
Monday, May 10, 2010
I do not get the "case of the Mondays." Why? Because I have Mondays off. How? Because I used to have class on Monday nights, but not any more! I have a feeling that because I'm writing about this, my free Mondays are going to be snatched away very, very soon. :-] Sure, I get Saturdays and Sundays off, but Mondays are nice to have off, too.
I woke up at about 10:30 today and pulled myself out of bed to go work out downstairs. Like I taught myself last time just do it! Once all is said and done, the work out feels great. I realized a couple of days ago that in order to get me motivated and really working hard, I need good music. I cannot keep listening to the same playlist over and over and over again; so, I downloaded an app called "iHeart Radio" on my iPod; it is live streaming of hundreds of radio stations. I didn't do it for a local radio station, but I was able to tune into my favorite Florida radio station . . . there's motivation for ya! Just make myself think that I'm in Florida working out haha! After the work out, Josh was still working on a homework assignment, so it gave me some much needed time to get things done that have been waiting. I washed my sheets. No . . . it has not been long, but if I had the time and patience (and the enjoyment of making my bed), I would wash my sheets about 4 times a week. Is it just me or are soft, unwrinkled, smell-good sheets one of life's simple things to enjoy? Aahh. I vaccuumed my room, organized more coupons, did two online surveys to snag a couple of good deals, and went tanning . . . all while listening to my new Florida radio station. :-]
But the most exciting part of my day . . . cold brew Lipton iced tea with lemon pieces in a water bottle . . .yumm, quenching, delicious, addicting!
Life is good!
Posted byAshley C. at 6:39 PM 0 Love Notes
Labels: random
My guy
Saturday, May 8, 2010
The other day, one of the girls here, at the salon, let me borrow a book called Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. It's a book very similar to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. I bought the book a couple of years ago when I took the train with my mom to Michigan. It was a very interesting book and something that I was easily able to "get into," but it kind of made me think a little.
I don't know about your boyfriends or husbands, but there is no book that can tell me why mine acts or thinks the way he does. I don't mean that in a demeaning way, I say that and mean that my guy is not the same that these so-called "Psychologists" have studied or hung around. My guy is one-of-a-kind, unique. My guy is one that knows and loves God and tries his darndest to reflect the attitude of Christ. My guy is one that knows exactly how to read me and does not fight in order to figure it out. My guy is one that is not in it for the sex but for a reciprocating kind of love. My guy does not act differently in front of family or friends but loves and treats me the same whether in front of an audience of 10 or 1. My guy knows how to communicate what he wants or needs from our relationship.
With that being said, I think those kinds of books are a little useless. When I read the Mars/Venus book, the only thing I got out of it was that if I try to understand Josh more than I can at the present moment, I am only becoming confused and expecting things from our relationship that do not exist simply because he is not them. I learned that I will only be able to understand and know what Josh wants, needs, or feels if we communicate with each other. The books are basically saying that you can walk up to a stranger, not say a thing, and not know a single thing about them and be able to have a strong, enduring relationship because you simply read 300 pages in a book about the male race. Nope. Doesn't work that way.
I love my unique guy. He is different than yours, that's for sure. :-]
Posted byAshley C. at 6:13 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes
Labels: Josh, lesson learned, love
