I'm just preparing myself
Monday, November 15, 2010

I'm beginning to feel like I'm talking to myself on here.  People always tell me that they read my blogs, but no one comments and I haven't had a new follower since day one.  I can tell you that one reason for that is that most of the blogs I follow are the ones that I cannot yet relate to: the stay-at-home, crafty, money-saving, photographer, mommy blogs.  What interest do they have in a girl like me?  I'm kind of in limbo right now.  I've tried the whole money-saving thing and as I mentioned before, I really stink at balancing.  I'm not yet a mom, I actually have to go to work, and try to become a photographer on the side.  I love reading the blogs that I read because I have learned a lot and I can honestly say that had it not been for following the blogs that I follow, I would never had started clipping coupons, became interested in photography, or have a strong opinion for breast-feeding (and cloth diapers and baby-wearing!). 

Who am I you might ask?  A 22-year old that is engaged and planning a wedding for next July.  I am still living at home, but mostly buy my own groceries so I attempt to save as much money as I can in the process.  I do not have kids, but want a handful of them ASAP and when I do, I will try with all I have to solely breast-feed.  I would like to call myself a professional photographer but the truth is that I haven't even found myself or my voice.  Kinda funny that I'm reading the blogs that I am, huh?  No, I am not trying to become something that I'm not but I don't think you have an idea how badly I want to be at the stage in my life where I can say I am a stay-at-home mom that only breast feeds, uses cloth diapers, and carries my baby in a sling while I am balancing blogging, photography, and loving my husband with my entire heart.  I'm just preparing myself. ;)

Posted byAshley C. at 3:40 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: marriage, me, photography, struggles

Something . . .
Wednesday, September 8, 2010

 . . . has been tugging at my heart since the engagement.  No, wait, let me reword that: Someone has been tugging at my heart since the engagement.  For example, I typically listen to a lot of secular music; anything from country to rap to Christian music.  But, in the past week and a half, I have had the strongest desire to listen to Christian music.  Music that glorifies the God that brought Josh and I together.  I have no desire to listen to secular music, in fact, I am kind of grossed out by secular music.  I am going to be honest, my relationship with God has not been the greatest.  I wouldn't consider myself "running" after Him, it's more like a slight jog, then seeing something on the side of the road that distracts my jog . . . then remembering what I was supposed to be doing.  It's been cold, inconsistent, blah.  But . . . something in my heart is stirring.  Stirring to put on my armor, get as close as I possibly can, and follow my God.  Follow my God because He is ready to prepare me, my future marriage, and my commitment to my future husband more than ever.  I want to go into this marriage knowing that I have a strong relationship with God; a relationship that is inseperable; a relationship that will create a "oneness" with God where I cannot be easily distracted by things on the side of the road, but continue running after Him as though my entire life and marriage depend on it.
My future husband deserves nothing less than a godly woman that he can trust with his entire life.

Now, if I could only find which road He is on, waiting for me to begin running behind Him.   

Posted byAshley C. at 4:52 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, marriage

You Are My Best Friend, Too
Sunday, June 14, 2009

Oh man, I feel so guilty for not blogging in what, 6 days, was it? I have so much to blog about, but I don't want to intimidate you to the point that you quit reading and I typed for no reason.

There is one thing that I was talking to a friend about that I have been dying to blog about. Co-ed friendships while in a serious relationship.
So, our conversation started because this person was telling me that their best friend, who is a girl, just moved back from Texas. He has a girlfriend, so I asked him if his girlfriend was at all uneased about him hanging out with another girl. He said that as soon as the two get a chance to meet, he was sure that they would both feel a little better about each other. He went on to tell me that he and his best friend have known each other since he was 4. He's only known his girlfriend for about a year.
I made the comment, "I couldn't see Josh having a girl best friend or another girl calling Josh her best friend. He's all mine!" He replied by saying that there seemed to be some jealousy. This was pretty much what sparked the conversation. I made it clear that there was no jealousy at all. Josh has never put me in a situation that has ever caused me to be jealous over someone else.

I just couldn't fathom the idea of Josh making me share the title "best friend" with another girl that doesn't share the intimacy that Josh and I do. Josh and I talk about everything, share every idea, every feeling, and every moment with each other. In my opinion, when you are in a serious relationship, I feel that it is inappropriate to call someone else of the opposite sex your "best friend." The title entails that they are literally your best friend; no one else can compare to the friend that they are, no other person can fulfill the same kind of happiness that you experience when you are with this person. You share your deepest thoughts, emotions, and feelings with your best friend. When you turn to another person of the opposite sex and do the same thing, I just feel that that shows that you aren't fully and completely satisfied with your mate's companionship.

I might be going out on a limb here, but this is where emotional sanctifcation comes in. As I've stated in a previous blog, I shared large portions of my heart with other guys and I can say that is probably one of the biggest mistakes I've made. There are a lot of things in life that aren't renewable. That is definitely one of them.
The act of marriage, one of God's most precious gifts to man, is so unique because the two individuals become one. Everything each other has experienced, done, and shared is now the other half's, too. When you become married, you are giving the other person something that no one else has. You are giving that person something so very complex, yet so simple. When you share personal thoughts or moments with someone of the opposite sex, outside of marriage, you are slowly taking away from your future husband or wife's portion. If you do not guard your heart or your thoughts, what else is your spouse going to have that someone else doesn't?

This might sound like I have strayed pretty far from my whole "best friend" interpretation, but it really does have a lot to do with each other. Think about someone of the opposite sex where you have claimed them to be your best friend. Now, what made them your best friend? I can bet that it was because you shared everything: thoughts, experiences, important moments, etc. Now, think about the relationship you would expect of you and your future spouse. You would expect to share the same things that you shared with your "best friend!" I am not saying that it is wrong to have a best friend. I am not saying that at all. I am just saying that when you are going through friendships, I find that it is very important to keep your heart guarded because your spouse (and future marriage) is depending on you.

After you are married, if it hasn't been placed already, a line needs to be drawn so that the two people are able to still have friends, which is completely logical. We all need friends! In fact, I truly feel that a marriage will suffer if both people don't have other friends. But, a huge sacrifice that needs to be made is the recognition that guarded hearts are very necessary.

I know that me and Josh aren't married, but we have been praying strongly for God's will in our life and everything is seemingly working in our favor. We cannot say that "this is God's hand," but we can keep praying that God will reveal His plan in our life. I suppose that if you want to be very literal, me and Josh are taking the risk of sharing so many intimate moments.

I hope that this has made sense. Just some of my own opinions!

But, if you aren't a believer of marriage, I don't know what to tell you . . .

Posted byAshley C. at 5:25 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: friends, love, marriage

"I Do," but does God?
Saturday, June 6, 2009

Today, I had the opportunity to witness yet another one of God's greatest gifts to His creation: the union of two souls becoming one. I think that in today's society, a lot of people have lost the meaning of what a marriage signifies and has completely destroyed it and warped it into what they want it to be (or what they think it should be). Marriage is a beautiful thing that God created after seeing that in the Garden of Eden, Adam was lonely and needed a mate, so out of his flesh and bone, God created Eve. The bone could represent that the two are dependent on each other for strength and the flesh is to hold each other in tact with what each one is and/or can offer. Marriage was instituted by God and has three basic concepts: 1) the man leaves his parents, and through public act, promises himself to his wife, 2) the man and woman are joined together by taking responsibility for each other's welfare and by taking responsibility for each other's welfare and by loving the mate above all others, 3) the two are united into one in the intimacy and commitment of sexual union that is reserved for marriage. A good, strong marriage will consist of all three of these components.*

This brings me to think, "What is a 'good wife?'" A couple Sundays ago, my Pastor gave a sermon about the characteristics of a "surpassing woman." I want to share these with you because I believe that these are some things to think about, either as a wife, a mom, or a woman that is considering either of the two.

1. She offers up her family. This is important because a lot of times women are held back by fear and does not let herself or her family reach their fullest potential is worshipping God through their living because she is being held down. A surpassing woman sees the importance in letting go and letting God handle her family.
2. She shakes up her family to moral purity. Especially in today's society, a strong woman needs to be there to raise and place a standard in her home and in her marriage that will lead her family to moral purity. Today, a lot of standards are lost and transformed to fit what seems to be "right." A surpassing woman sees the opportunity to set a standard in her marriage and/or home that shows her family what standard is most appropriate.
3. She speaks up for those that cannot speak. This may not be in the literal sense, but she needs to be the defender of the weak. This could mean that she reads between the lines and sees what needs to be brought to the attention of another that might not be brought up otherwise. Many times a woman is needed as a mediator. A surpassing woman sees the needs of each individual in her family and helps to fulfill these needs.
4. She builds up her marriage and/or family. She shows that she is trustworthy and that no matter what the circumstance is, she is there and willing to listen with an open heart. She sees when something is not going right and tries with everything in her to make them better . . . not worse. A surpassing woman does not break her family down, instead she continues to build the strongest foundation of a relationship.
5. She saves up. A surpassing woman is not caught up in today's materialism, instead she sees the importance in saving up. She in content in what she has and counts everything as a blessing. A surpassing woman counts everything she has as a blessing from God and shows that she is responsible for what He has blessed her with.
6. She dresses up. She understands that not only is she displaying her personality by the way she dresses, but the smile and attitude she wears. She wants her husband to be satisfied with both her external and internal characteristics. A surpassing woman takes the beauty that God has given her and shows people that she can display it in a modest way that not only attracts her husband, but shows a welcoming spirit.
7. She opens up. She is a type of woman that is able to see what others need and is willing to give what she can. A surpassing woman extends her hand to those that need it.
8. She listens up. Naturally, the woman of the home is the most trusted individual in the family. She needs to be willing to let others come to her for anything they need without complaining or whining. She is the one that sets the atmosphere of the home. A surpassing woman makes her home a welcome and happy place that welcomes each individual in her heart and in her arms.
9. She soaks up. She accepts the praises and rewards that are due. She does not resist, but she has a humble spirit that knows how to accept these things. She has humility and dignity. A surpassing woman can willingly accept the praises, rewards, and thoughtfulness of others all while returning the praise to God.
10. She looks up. She stays close to God and remembers that God is the "glue" that will hold her family (and herself) together . . . she cannot do it on her own. A surpassing woman knows and understands that praise and prayer are the only ways she will be able to love her family to the fullest.

After hearing some of those points, I really started to think about what it really means to be a mother, wife, and woman of God. As many of you know, me and Josh have done a lot of talking about marriage and when we think we will be ready. I honestly want to take all of these points into consideration before fully giving myself to my husband. I understand that I will not be able to fully reach any of these characteristics, but that I must strive my hardest to be the perfect wife and mother to my family. I do not think that I reach any of these yet, but when I do, I think that God will show me that I am ready shortly thereafter. I cannot give myself to my husband without first considering his feelings and what I know will be most pleasant to be with.

---------------------------On another note-----------------------------------

The outside reception immediately followed the wedding and need I mention that it was only 44 degrees today?! I wore the cutest sundress and my cowboy boots to the wedding, but after the wedding was over, I had to go home and throw some jeans on, tuck in the second (longer) layer of my dress, throw on a cardigan, and tah-dah! I had a whole new outfit, only much warmer! After 3 long hours, me and Josh left and turned the heat on full blast all the way home. We decided that we are going to pull an all-nighter and head to Wisconsin early in the morning to go fishing. This will be our first time fishing this year and I cannot wait! I think last year I caught a total of more fish than Josh did and that will be my goal again this year!

Posted byAshley C. at 9:04 PM Post a comment (1) Love Notes  

Labels: God, love, marriage